


First, Last

by spazzmunk



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-26
Updated: 2016-08-26
Packaged: 2018-08-11 03:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7874596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spazzmunk/pseuds/spazzmunk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When all you can remember are the good memories of beginnings and the sad memories of endings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	First, Last

**Author's Note:**

> i'm on a roll for two days now. hahahaha. i hope i can continue writing at least one story everyday. here's a little something for all the JIHAN shippers out there. i wanted to limit myself to writing UP10TION fics but when i found this prompt (which was "Person A talking about the first and last time he/she did things with Person B together"), i could only imagine Joshua and Junghan. i hope you guys like it and leave some comments and suggestions for me! thanks!

**1**

The first time we met each other was at the pavement of our street. We were both seven. He got off the moving truck with his dad and I ran outside to play with my friends and I crashed into him, making us both fall on the road. I cried, he didn’t. His father picked us up and brushed our pants from dirt. He told me gently to stop crying.

“Now, little boy. Stop crying. What’s your name?” he asked.

“Junghan,” I said silently.

“Well, hello there, Junghan. This is my son, Jisoo. Why don’t you two become friends?”

“I don’t want to!” the boy who was my age whined. I glared at him angrily and kicked him in the shins. I ran and I finally heard him cry.

 

**2**

The last time we met was yesterday. I sat beside him, looking at him with an empty mind.

“Must you really do this?” I asked with an indifferent face.

He only scoffed and closed his eyes. They were weak and for a split-second, I was afraid he wouldn’t open them again.

“It’s not up to me,” he said.

I felt a rush of anger when he said that. I stormed out and left him there. I wish I didn’t. I wish I had more patience because that was the last time we met.

 

**3**

The first time we held hands was when we were sixteen. It was our graduation from senior year and I was talking to some of my friends who I know I won’t be seeing for a long time.

A hand grabbed mine and dragged me away. They were soft and warm. I wondered why I knew who it belonged to even without looking at its owner.

“Sorry. I’m going to take away what’s mine now,” Jisoo said to my friends and they both laughed. I wanted to laugh too but my face felt hot and I couldn’t even open my mouth.

His hands did not let go and we marched to where our parents were. “When did I become yours?” I asked nonchalantly.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Weren’t you always been since you owed me for kicking me on the shins when we were seven?”

I looked at him in disbelief and elbowed his arm hard, eliciting a loud wince. “You’re unbelievably childish.”

But, I also thought the same. I wanted to be his from the time I crashed into him. I forgot. I did bump into him on purpose.

 

**4**

The last time I felt his hands was yesterday. I couldn’t take it. My conscience couldn’t take it that I left him angry. So, I went back to the room and found him sleeping.

He wasn’t dead. His chest rose and fell in a rhythmic pattern. I sneaked at the bench beside his bed, making sure not to make any noise.

Jisoo didn’t look any different from when he was healthy. He still has the most perfectly-carved jawline, the most beautiful point on his nose, and the plumpest lips. He still was the most handsome boy for me. Only now, he looked tired. No matter how long he slept, he’d still wake up looking like he just ran a 21-kilometer marathon.

He needed to rest. But, I don’t want him to. I want him to be the one looking over me while I sleep soundly on his lap. I want him to be the one humming a lullaby to put me to rest.

I reached out to wrap my hands around his, the one without the tube stuck in it. What was once a warm and soft, has now became cold and rough.

I sighed. “Fight, Jisoo. Fight and be with me.”

 

**5**

The first time we kissed was during the end of our first date. It was the break after our graduation when one morning, he knocked on our door and brought flowers and fastfood.

“I can understand the fastfood though it’s still too early for that. But, what are those flowers for? Meeting someone today?” I asked.

I heard my mom chuckle from the background. “Looks like I’ve come in at the wrong time. I’ll leave you too to talk.”

She left while humming a familiar love song and with a confused look on my face.

“You need to get ready. We’re going on a date,” he replied indifferently.

I almost choked on the big bite of chicken and rushed to down it with soda. “We what?”

“Date. You and me. Romance. Love in the air. Birds singing and cold wind blowing. Are you that stupid?” he chided.

“They knew?”

“Your parents? I asked them first. Better be sure I’m trudging on safe waters,” he chuckled.

After an hour, we were both on our way out, bidding my mom goodbye for the day.

“How come you prepare longer than most girls?” he asked.

“You’re being a sexist.”

I always thought that there’d be something special in each and everyone’s date. Turns out, it’s almost always the same for everybody. You go to the movies if you have the money. Jisoo’s rich so we went to the zoo after that. We laughed at the animals with cotton candy on our hands. Dinner was okay. We ate at our favorite restaurant. Only this time, we decided to order the most expensive dish.

“Is this the part that I will regret dating you?” he joked.

I dismissed him with my hand. “Nah. You love me too much to do that.”

“True. I love you, Junghan.”

There was silence. I couldn’t say it back. It’s not that I don’t love him back. It was just so overwhelming. There he is, the love of my life who I loved in secret all this time, confessing that he feels the same.

Instead of words, my eyes did the talking. Tears flowed and he held his hand on my cheek, wiping them away. He smiled before he leaned in close and planted a soft, hesitant kiss on my lips. It was short but it felt like forever to me.

This time, I was the one who leaned in for another short peck. “I love you too, shitface.”

 

**6**

The last time our lips touched was yesterday. I have been in the hospital room for almost two days. I was tired. Jisoo was more tired. I decided to do what I was afraid to do all this time: let go.

My tears this time were tears of sadness and longing. It’s the last time. I brushed his hair away from his face and looked at the boy that I loved for the last time.

“If you want to rest, do so. I will not hold you back. If you’re tired, let go. We will be okay. Fight until you can but if you feel like you’re losing, just let it go. We’ll see each other soon.”

I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. For the last time.

I stood up and walked out of the room. I did not dare to look back because I know what would have happened next.

 

**7**

Today is the first and last time I am feeling this way. This is the first time I will grieve for the loss of Jisoo and this is the last time that I will cry because I could never love someone else the way I loved him.


End file.
